A Lil Bits & Pieces of This & That

Nothing in life is easy. But that’s no reason to give up. After all, you only have one life, so you should make the most of it.

(Source: metrolines)

Just Pray For Her.

17 days ago, my life has changed. I still remembered that day vividly. I was there. I am the one who found her stuff. I am the one who found her. I am the one who reported. And I am the one who have to stay calm and be strong. I can’t be emotional. I can’t cry out loud. I have to pretend. This is because, I have a sister to take care of. If didn’t control my emotions that time, I wonder who will take care of the situation that time as everyone were shocked, devastated, sad and crying.

I can only cry in my heart. I can only cry at night, when everyone is sleeping. I can only cry when I’m back in hostel.

I miss her. 

Life goes on as usual. And I still have not accept the fact that she is no longer here, until, I picked up my phone and tried to call her. Only then, I realised, she has already gone, gone to heaven.

Chinese believe that when one is death, the soul of the deceased will stay in this world for 7 days and that the deceased will usually go visit his/her loved ones. 

I have waited for her for that 7 days. She did not come. Not even a dream. Sometimes, especially when I’m in hostel, I will talk to the air, pretending that she is there, listening to me. I beg her, to at least, meet in my dream.

I miss her. 

She is a wonderful woman, a great mother, and always will.

I know that one day she will go, but due to old age or illness, and I had promised that I will stay by her bed side. However, incertainties happened. She went in an unfortunate event.

It pains me to see her in that condition. I went to see her 3 times. Each time, I had a mixed feelings. I am sad, heart break and angry. Angry to that person/s who did that to her. 

From the beginning, I have known that she did fight to survive. Even she was punched until bones fractured massively, she still fight for the chances to survive. If only, the person/s did not throw her into the river, she would have survive.

For now, all I can do as a daughter, is to pray for her, pray for God to good care of her, pray for God to forgive her sins, if she has any. 

I also want to make this clear to everyone that, please do not listen to rumours.

First, my mother, has not been raped. Please do not ruined her reputation.

2. She did not wear any gold necklaces or bracelet. Hence it is NOT her fault that she got robbed.

3. She DID NOT bring a lot of money with her that time, at most $20-$30 only.

4. The police got her out from the river easily, not like as in rumour, that she was too heavy that a crane is needed to get her out.

Please let her go in peace and stop spreading false stories about her unfortunate encounter. Please just pray for her. 

Too Late.

Why I always have to realize the fact late? 

The world is materialistic. As soon as you are no longer with the money, friends will just magically disappear. When you need their help, every “help” they offer will be asked for payment in return.

How stupid I was. I shouldn’t have just spent those money like that in those days. 

Well, world. Reality. 

Student.

SOON, I’ll be back to my student life again. This time, I think I’ll be the oldest in the batch.

I’m worry actually. Worry that whether will I be able to make any friend? Haiz..

Whatever it is, I’m super excited. Can’t wait to start. At last, I’m back as a student again.